You’d think that once you’re leading hundreds of people, you’d feel powerful. Influential. Seen.

But here’s the twist: The higher up you go, the less feedback you get. The more people you oversee, the harder it is to trace your actual impact.

One senior leader I coached recently said something that gave me pause:

“Some weeks, I sit there and wonder… am I having any influence at all?”

“Just do what you want. It’s up to you.”

That sounds like empowerment. But in the wrong context? It’s actually a trap.

In a coaching conversation last month, someone asked their leader what it would take to be promoted. The response?

“You can do whatever you want.”

Supportive? Maybe.
Useful? Not really.

Let’s be honest: most meetings aren’t exactly what you’d call “highlights of the week.”

They start with a heavy sigh. A stiff silence. A chorus of “Can you hear me?” “You’re on mute.” "Are we waiting for Steve?"

But then someone dares to break the beige.

“Why did the scarecrow win employee of the month? Because he was outstanding in his field.”

Cue the eye-rolls. The groans. The accidental snort-laugh. And suddenly, we’re in a different room. A lighter one.

Because here’s the thing: a joke, even a really bad one, can change the entire tone of a meeting.

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” -David Augsburger

The most overlooked skill in leadership

You don’t need a bigger title or a louder voice to lead powerfully.

What people really crave - more than strategy decks or performance reviews - is: to be heard. Really heard.

It’s so rare that when someone truly listens, we mistake it for love.

You know this person:

They light up in brainstorms. Love a good whiteboard. They speak in phrases like:

• “We’re still pressure-testing the idea.”

• “We want to get this right before we roll it out.”

• “There’s a version of this that’s really exciting.”

Sometimes... they’re you.

Let’s talk about Lazy Dream Syndrome™ - that sneaky little leadership habit where processing looks like progress, but it's really just a chic form of avoidance.

You know that quote - "What you seek is seeking you"?

Yeah. I love it. And also, it kind of smacks me in the face when I remember how often I’ve been seeking the wrong thing.

Here’s something I’ve been seeing with clients (and... with my past self, if I’m honest):

7 out of 10 people say they want a promotion.​
​3 out of 10 says they want to actually get better.

That’s not a stat from Harvard. Just a vibe from 1000+ coaching convos.

And the difference? It’s not ambition. It’s not talent. It’s not even timing. It’s locus of control.

Leadership is mysterious.

You can’t touch it.
You can’t measure it.
You can’t define it in a single line.

And yet - you know it’s real.

When leaders ask me how to get better at coaching, it’s usually through the same lens: How do I, personally, become a better coach? Fair question. Important question.

But here’s one that’s even more powerful (and wildly under-asked):

How do I help my team coach each other?

Because if you're the only one doing the coaching, the ceiling is low. If everyone is coaching everyone? The possibilities explode. That’s when you move from good to GREAT.

By the end of the meeting, I wrote one line in my notebook:

The ~Super Destructors~ are here.

Because when a team starts to break down, it rarely starts with shouting or door-slamming. It starts in the quiet.

It starts in the subtle ways we protect ourselves when we’re afraid of being judged, misunderstood, or overlooked.

These are the 5 Super Destructors. Aka the things we do when we're scared, tired or fed up - and don't know how to say it.

Leadership’s got this PR problem. Somewhere along the way, it became synonymous with being loud. Big presence. Big talk. Big energy.

The kind of leader who strides into a room, commands attention with the sheer volume of their voice, and is assumed to be the alpha simply because they fill the air.

But the thing is - alpha has never been about volume. It’s about presence. Calm. Precision. Knowing when to act and when to listen. Readiness, not restlessness.

Leadership presence - it's the invisible feel that makes or breaks you.

You know it when you feel it. That leader who steps into a room, and suddenly—boom—the energy shifts. People sit up a little straighter. Conversations pause. Even the air feels different. And when they speak? Everyone listens.

That’s presence. It’s not about being the loudest, the tallest, the best dressed or the most senior person in the room. It’s about how you show up—how you carry yourself, how you communicate, and how you command attention without demanding it.

Most executives walk into an interview prepared to answer tough questions. But the real power move? Knowing how to ask them.

If you’re stepping into a senior leadership role, you’re not just looking for a job—you’re stepping into a system. A culture. A battlefield of expectations, competing priorities, and unspoken rules.

And the last thing you want is to realize six months in that you walked into a situation no one warned you about.

That’s why the best leaders don’t ask, “What’s the culture like?”​
Because the answer will be exactly what they want you to hear.

This story is shared with permission. The name has changed to protect my client's identity.

No map, no promise, no net below—
Just a door wide open. Will you go?
​
Greatness isn’t given; it’s seized, it’s earned,
Not by waiting—but by being the first to turn.

You don’t need a guarantee.
You need a spine, a spark, a step.

Will you take it?
A chance without a guarantee?

What if I told you the fastest way to grow your sales team isn’t more deals, more dials, or more dashboards—but more transparency?

I’m not talking about the “rah-rah” kind of transparency where leaders share just enough to sound open but not enough to make a difference. I’m talking about radical transparency—the kind where losses are learning moments, feedback is real-time, and teams stop pretending they have it all figured out.

Most leaders don’t coach until there’s a problem. A missed number. A lagging performer. A breakdown. That’s too late. You don’t wait to put gas in your car until you’re stranded on the highway. You fuel up before the tank runs dry.

That’s what great leaders do. They don’t coach to fix—
They coach to expand.

They don’t wait for performance to dip—
They unlock potential before it peaks.

This is the shift. The move that separates the good from the great. The managers from the legends.

NVIDIA's stock prices grew ~2,000% over the past 5 year. Even last year, while markets wobbled, NVDA soared with a 98% stock increase.

But this week, reality hit. Hard. NVDA’s stock dropped 15% in just three days after DeepSeek announced AI tech that could challenge its dominance. It’s a jarring reminder of a universal truth: no matter how big you are, no brand is untouchable.

It sounds too good to be true, right? But here’s the secret: most teams can. The real challenge isn’t their capability—it’s whether we, as leaders, are willing to step back and let them shine.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of fixing everything yourself. Maybe it feels faster, or you want to be helpful. But when you’re constantly solving every problem, you’re not just overworking yourself—you’re unintentionally holding your team back.

Here are 3 leadership shifts that can help you reclaim your time, empower your team, and drive better results for everyone:

Picture this: You’ve been promoted. The title’s shiny, the LinkedIn post is blowing up, and your family finally understands what you do. But a week in, you’re staring at your to-do list thinking, “Wait… they expect me to know how to do this?”

Welcome to the Peter Principle.

It’s that awkward moment when you realize you’ve been handed a high-stakes role, but the instructions are written in invisible ink. It’s like being promoted from sous chef to head chef—but suddenly, you’re cooking a 10-course meal blindfolded, with customers Yelp-reviewing your every move.

But here’s the thing: this isn’t just about individuals feeling like they’re navigating seven seas at once. It’s also about the organizations that expect them to stay afloat amidst stormy waters.

Leadership is about ownership, yes—but ownership in a system that doesn’t support growth? That’s an uphill battle where the hill is greased.

If you’re here, you’re probably not the type to follow cookie-cutter advice. You don’t settle for average, predictable, or safe. You’re a rebel at heart—and in leadership. But let me tell you a secret: rebellion without intention is just noise. The best rebels don’t just break the rules; they rewrite them.

And that’s what this year is all about.

You see, there’s a magic in being bold. It’s what turns one small action into a life-changing, exponential return. The kind of return that feels unfairly big compared to the effort it took.

• One idea scribbled on a napkin becomes a million-dollar business.

• One call with an old friend sparks a new partnership.

• One “I believe in you” changes someone’s life—and yours in the process.

But here's the thing: you can’t get those asymmetric returns by playing by the rules. So, for 2025, let’s rebel. Let’s defy convention and lean into the magic of possibility.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the law of averages—not as some abstract math concept but as a game changer for how we handle life’s inevitable curveballs. And it all started with a bad doctor.

This doctor wasn’t just bad; they were bad. The kind of bad where you leave the appointment questioning if they’ve ever actually read a medical textbook. I was fuming, venting to anyone who’d listen, “How could I end up with such an awful doctor? What are the odds?”

And then it hit me. What are the odds? If 7 out of 10 doctors are great, then statistically speaking, I was due for a dud. It wasn’t personal. It wasn’t the universe conspiring against me. It was just… math.