Leaders: speak up BUT ALSO listen louder.
“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” -David Augsburger
The most overlooked skill in leadership
You don’t need a bigger title or a louder voice to lead powerfully.
What people really crave - more than strategy decks or performance reviews - is: to be heard. Really heard.
It’s so rare that when someone truly listens, we mistake it for love.
Often we confuse leadership with the one who speaks the loudest, or executes the fastest, or climbs the corporate ladder with finesse.
What it means to listen loudly
“Listening loudly” is what happens when a leader chooses to:
Silence their inner monologue
Stop mentally rehearsing their response
Tune their full attention to someone else—without interrupting, rushing, or solving
It’s not just quiet listening—it’s active, intentional, whole-body presence. It means your attention is so complete, it’s felt in the room.
People don’t just hear that kind of listening. They experience it. And when they do, they step up. Speak up. Open up.
Let’s get crystal clear: true leadership love lives in our ears, not our mouths.
Read on if:
You do most of the talking in your 1-on-1s
Your team hesitates to share hard truths or new ideas
You feel stuck in surface-level conversations
You sense your people have more to give—but aren’t saying it
Why it works
Neuroscience magic: Deep listening releases oxytocin (the “trust hormone”) in both people. It builds psychological safety faster than feedback or praise.
High Performance: Google’s Project Aristotle found the #1 factor in successful teams is psychological safety. That starts with feeling heard.
Real-World ROI: I worked with a founder whose team had gone quiet. Instead of coaching her to speak better (and yes, that’s what they taught they needed to improve!), I taught her to listen louder. One silence-filled team meeting later, her head of sales shared a critical insight that changed their go-to-market strategy and reignited momentum.
“I didn’t realize I was taking up so much space,” she told me. “When I stopped filling the air, they filled it with gold.”
When you tune out your inner chatter and give undivided attention, you send a powerful signal: You matter. And people respond by bringing their best ideas forward.
The ONE clear takeaway: speak up, but listen louder.
Listening loudly is leadership in its most human form. You don’t need to fix, teach, or talk more. You need to show people they matter by how you listen.
How to "listen loudly" (3 tips to have in your back pocket)
Name your inner chatter - Notice the urge to fix or jump in or have the perfect response. Label it, and then tuck it away: “There’s the fixer,” “Oop, there’s the smarty pants with the perfect sentence,” “Oh here’s ms interrupt who has something to add.” If this feels weird, good. Just go with it.
Go deeper than surface level - After they speak, pause two full beats. Then ask questions that get them to really think through the chaos and get clear on the crux. Some examples: “What do you really want to tell me?” “What’s behind you feeling this way?” “What’s the kernel of truth that’s bothering you here?”
Reflect back, then affirm - Mirror back: “It sounds like you’re saying… did I get that right, or is it something else?” and wait. The insight often arrives in the silence.
Bonus follow up - Send a follow-up note highlighting one insight you gained. Notice how it shifts both their energy - and yours.
The loudest leaders aren’t the ones speaking. They’re the ones listening—fully, generously, and without ego.
This is what transforms good teams into great ones.
And it starts with you.
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Want your team to master this?
I run high-impact workshops and coaching sessions on listening as a leadership multiplier. If you want your managers or sales leaders to become more trusted, present, and performance-driven through how they listen - just reply with LISTEN and I’ll send you the details.
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My best, always,
Shar
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